Today I woke up with change and new beginnings on my mind. I am supposed to go to a job fair today and I'm very nervous about it. I haven't worked in 2 1/2 months and I haven't looked for a job in 6 1/2 years. Am I cut out to do this? Would I hire me? I would say yes, I would hire me, but I'm not so sure that is the truth. I mean, I know I'm a hard-worker and a smart person who gets along well with others, but that is learned about someone over a length of time. Would I hire me on first impressions? I'm not so sure. I say this because of my appearance, well really...my weight. I'm extremely obese and I doubt that is something that employers put on top of their "must have characteristics" list. 6 1/2 years ago, straight out of college, I nailed my first interview and was hired, but that was probably 100 pounds or so ago. Today, in this economy, at my age, at my weight...it's a different story.
I'm not even sure why I'm blogging this...I've never even had a blog before. Maybe I'm doing it for some accountability?!?? Maybe I'm doing it because I truly want change today. I titled this entry "A New Day" because of the song Jennifer Hudson sings for the Weight Watchers commercial. She is very inspiring. Yes, I've even thought about Weight Watchers. The truth is, change MUST happen if I want true happiness out of my life. Whatever medium I use to get there is somewhat irrelevant.
Yesterday, was a semi-turning point in my life. I say "semi" because the changing was only a fleeting thought in my mind. I fell out of the bed, well slid out of the bed actually. Yes, I'm embarrased to say that! And thank God Flint was here because I wasn't able to get up by myself. How can I go through my life not being able to get off the floor by myself??? I can't!!! I have to make a change. Today is a new day! LOL...wow, it sure is easy to say. Let's see about the doing part...
Instead of waking up to Coke, I'm drinking a bottle of water. Yes, I know this is no big deal to most of the world but it is to me. Especially when a two-liter is in the kitchen calling my name. The question is, what medium am I going to choose to obtain change. I have tried...wow...epiphany! I was about to say, I have tried all the diets out there and then I realized what my words were really saying. I HAVE TRIED...not, I have LIVED. That's my M-O. I try things but never stick to them. I see people successful with weight loss from many different plans, but their success is coming from making it a lifestyle change not the "certain" plan that they are on. (Boy this water sure is tasty!) Recently I've researched Weight Watchers and it seems to be affordable. But is that a strict enough regimen for my amount of weight loss? And I've been seriously considering going back on TSFL (Take Shape For Life) or medifast but the thought of the food kinda makes me gag. I don't want to get burnt out again. I need support at the same time. What to do what to do?!?!
Well, I guess put one foot in front of the other and make conscious decisions today. If I can not drink any Coke today, that will be an improvement over yesterday. And I have the job fair...let's see how that goes. Wish me luck, cyberspace, wish me luck!
